JENNEIRA PLANS JULY LANDING 'I MISS YOU GUYS!' SAYS BELOVED ALIEN
By Everett F. Stevens
Staff Writer
Wednesday, July 2, 2008 — Beloved time-traveling space alien Jenneira has sent a rare intergalactic message promising to return this month. And she's looking for a few talented Millsberry residents to take back into space.
Millsberry Mayor Oliver Trumble was in the middle of a press conference yesterday to announce this year's Fourth of July celebration in Peabody park. "The Declaration of Independence was officially signed on July 4th, 1776, and what better way to celebrate than with an all-day BBQ in Peabody Park?"
Suddenly, the speech was interrupted by the appearance of a hologram on the podium next to the Mayor. It was a hologram of the adventurous, purple-haired Jenneira.
"I'm so sorry to interrupt, Mayor," Jenneira said. "But I'm sending this hologram to say I miss you guys! And guess what? I'm coming back for a visit later this month! I'm contacting you today because I'm looking for Millsberry's best pilots to go back into space with me."
There was a momentary hush in the room. Then, all the reporters yelled questions at once. Mayor Trumble did what he could to calm them down. "One question at a time, please!"
"Jenneira! Jenneira! Audrey Smythe-Wei from the Millsberry Gazette. Great to see you again—can you tell us more about who you'll take into space with you?"
"I can only tell you, Audrey" Jenneira said, "that any Millsberry citizen who plays 'Galactic Defender Adventure' and has a top 10 score on July 24th will get to compete with me in the Intergalactic Olympics."
"This sounds fantastic, Jenneira," said the Mayor. "When exactly are you coming back?"
"My signal is fading, Mayor," Jenneira said as her hologram started to flicker. "I'll be back on July 24th. I miss Millsberry, and all you wonderful people. Sorry to miss your Fourth of July parties. But if you look up at the stars on the Fourth, wave and I'll be waving back! Have a nice --"
These were the last words Jenneira was heard saying before her hologram faded and the room was silent.
As the reporters excitedly began to ask the Mayor more questions, he turned off his microphone and headed for the door. "Thanks for coming!" he yelled. "Gotta go play 'Galactic Defender Adventure'!"
1776 TIME CAPSULE OPENED - STRANGE DISCOVERIES INSIDE
Wednesday, July 2, 2008 — One of Millsberry's oldest mysteries was made even more mysterious this morning with the opening of Ye Olde Tyme Capsule, from the year 1776.
Hundreds gathered to witness the opening of the ancient capsule on the Millsberry Museum lawn. Inside it, the most incredible discovery was that some of the items are not as old as 1776—for instance, a pair of Theodore Roosevelt's eyeglasses, probably from 1900.
"I'm flabbergasted," said Edna Nelson, curator of the Millsberry Historical Society. "And I'm a very hard person to flabbergast. How could something from 1900 have been buried in 1776? It's crazy!" Mayor Oliver Trumble promised to ask time-traveling alien Jenneira if she can shed any light on the subject when she returns later this month.
Until then, items from Ye Olde Tyme Capsule are available for purchase here!